Stupid Tv
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: Random

Jesse James Is A Deadman.

 WTF. He's a dead man yet everything "dangerous" he does they put like 90,000 saftey devices on. Seriously? Don't call the show this... call it.. Jesse James Dares The World ... or something that doesn't piss me off everytime I see the grim reaper painted on his $17,000 helmet and safety cage.

 

Douchebags.

Top Itunes
Mood:  accident prone
Now Playing: Hunting Bears - Radiohead
Topic: i-tunes

1. Pushing Me Away [Reanimation] - Linkin Park
2. Shoot'em Down - Ghostland Observatory
3. Eclipsed - Evan's Blue
4. Autumn Effect - 10 Years
5. Dark That Follows - Evans Blue
6. Speculum - Adema
7. Lift Us Up - Adema
8. Hold On - Korn
9. A Beautiful Lie - 30 SecondsTo Mars
10. Trust - Adema
11. Planets - Adema
12. Over - Evans Blue
13. Stockholm Syndrome - Muse
14. Where Did You Sleep Last Night - Nirvana
15. Burn It Down - Alter Bridge
16. You - Breaking Benjamin
17. Flush - Brian Head Welch
18. Straight Jacket Fashion - Chevelle
19. Hidden Track - From First To Last
20. Boiler - Limp Bizkit
21. Stapled To The Mattress - Scarling
22. Techtonik Art Of Trance / Mongoose - Tecktonik
23. Over And Over - Three Days Grace
24. I Don't Care - Apocolyptica
25. You Picked Me - A Fine Frenzy
    

Hmmm
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Cold - Evans Blue
Topic: Random
I rrely second guess anything i do. But when i do, it's really hard to come to a conclusion. I think that stems from a battle between logic and emotion. As humans, which makes us real? Our surroundings or the perception of our surroundings? *shrug* Things are complicated.

Ahh
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Optimistic - Radiohead
Topic: Random
So, i guess my problem has been that i've been overwhelmed with options my whole life. I can always do anything so i'm overloaded and do nothing. What i need to do now is pick things and run with it 100% instead of 100 things at 1%.

Ah, reset.
Mood:  smelly
Welp, i've wanted a reset button to be pressed in my life and so it happened. On june 1st i fell and broke my arm. The bone poked thru and my right hand nerve got cut. I had 2 surgeries and i'll be down and out for awhile..... so i have time to think and now a way out of bad daily habits.... i'm excitied.

Top 25 June 2009
Now Playing: Dark That Follows - Evans Blue
Topic: i-tunes

1. Pushing Me Away [Reanimation] - Linkin Park
2. Shoot'em Down - Ghostland Observatory
3. Dark That Follows - Evans Blue
4. Autumn Effect - 10 years
5. Trust - Adema
6. Lift Us Up - Adema
7. Eclipsed - Evans Blue
8. Where Did You Sleep Last Night - Nirvana
9. Planets - Adema
10. Straight Jacket Fashion - Chevelle
11. Over - Evans Blue
12. Hidden Track - From First To Last
13. Hold On - Korn
14. Stockholm Syndrome - Muse
15. StapledTo The Mattress - Scarling
16. A Beautiful Lie - 30 Seconds To Mars
17. Speculum - Adema
18. Burn It Down - Alter Bridge
19. You - Breaking Benjamin
20. Flush - Brian Head Welch
21. You Picked Me - A Fine Frenzy
22. Quarter - Fuel
23. Muscle Museum - Muse
24. Alexander The Burn Victim - Scarling
25. Shaken - Shiny Toy Guns
    

pussies
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: nothing
Topic: Random
Alright, so i don't really care too much about obama .. or the president for that matter ... the things he does really has no effect on my day to day life ... MY day to day life.... but i was watching some jay leno clips and obama was saying how he sucked at bowling and made the comment my score was like from the special olmypics or something .... And a whole bunch of d00sh bags responded about how awful obama is.... give me a fucking break. First of all, it was a joke... it was a joke saying 'wow, i'm so bad that I play as good as someone that is handicapped' ..... yeah, handicapped... someone who can't do as good as normal people... and he is normal... hah the irony... not a big deal.... i'd prolly have said the same thing... and yet all these people are pissed off.... 'im the coach of a special olypimian and i was disgusted' .... really? realllllllllly? hmm .. so are you boycotting NBC and Jay Leno too? Did you turn your tv off? Or was someone else blogging about it and you decided 'yeah im pissed too" ... what the shit. Listen, I've had people poke fun at me... and it takes me down a notch ... anytime anyone makes fun of anybody it takes them down a notch... but is this country so pussified that no one can take a joke? really? And he was calling himself handicapped... not you, not anyone else.. he was poking fun at himself.... i could see if he said something like 'jesus, what the hell are there even special olympics? they can't do anything right" ... but no. And so I read up on things and i guess some handi bowled a 300 a few times... fannntastic.. i bet it was bowlings verison of rainman .. he can bowl but cant add. Fantastic.... okay, thats mean, see? I'm making fun of someone directly. Not good.... but that didn't happen here... so all you peace pussies and wussies shut the fuck up and please drive in the slow lane.

Son of a Bitches
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Watching Manswers
Topic: Random
I freaking hate when I am driving behind someone... and they tap the brakes to look at something ... like ... a bulldozer... a minor car accdient.... a cop pulling someone over.... listening you fucking douche bags, DON NOT HIT THE BRAKES ... keeep freaking driving... it's nothing new and nothing exciting... if you really wanna know whats going on, become a tow truck driver... or pull over and walk on over to see what is going on ... do notttttt go 10 mph in a 45 zone to stop and look...  AHHHH!!!!!!! i hate that soooooo much ... if you've ever done that, and someones head wasnt torn open with a slime mark leading to where their brain was thrown out .. then you deserve to have your knee caps broken.

Note to self
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: none
Topic: Random
Okay, so enough of sloozing around at these race events. I need to focus ... 4th place is lame... I need to pay more attention when walking the course as to where my car is going to swing out, I need to measure my tire temps all the way across, I need to reverse before the start to lock my posi (DUH), I need to find a better sitting position, I should go a lot slower on my first run, I really need to back off when I mess up somehwere instead of continuing to mess the same part up, I need to drive slower, I need to drive as if i'm driving a TT not a corvette, I need to look ahead better, I need to only drive as fast as my eyes, I need to try running a tighter line....... that's all I can thinm of for now.. but i'll add after the racce this weekend.

Racing and Paintballs
Now Playing: nothing
Topic: Monday
Well, I had a busy weekend. Saturday I took Steve to O'hare because he is flying back to Greece to look after his mom who's been diagnosed with cancer and the outlook doesn't look too good. Then I hung out with my DJ friend berto who, as always, is a lot of fun. Later on that night I played Lego Batman with nicki and we beat it two times... the lego games are a lot of fun in my opinion. Sunday, me and nick went to event #2 of the chicago region scca and we both did pretty good. Nick got 17th place.. his best finish so far and I got 4th but I didn't have my tires set up exactly how I needed them... I realized I was misadjusting them so hopefully next event will end with a win for me. After racing me and Nick went paintballing ... it was my first time but it was a lot of fun .... i got shot and it hurts sometimes but it's not too too bad. Overall, it was good times.

workin'
Topic: Random
so, work was crazy today ... i was told i had to have a bunch of things done or i'd be fired.. and half way thru the day my computer crashed and I lost everything ...... i sat back and laughed because I was thinking about if I should quit this job or not the night before.

The way it goes
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: nothing.

"Everything happens for a reason" ... that's a saying that is used way too much in my opinion. Used so much that the meaning is void of some pretty intellegent words. I've always subscribed to a life of whatever will happen will happen. Some accuse me of being too wishy-washy ... too laid back or with out goals and desires. To them, I have decided that they are not able to understand the things I understand. Today, I took an iq test again and scored very well. I remember last time I did this I was thinking to myself that I should be using this for something more then my current state of affairs... or i should atleast be putting myself into a position where this intellgence is good for something so my life can have meaning. The past few weeks have been pretty amazing. I think I have come out of a cocoon of sorts and my mind is like a thunderstorm. I have a lot of thoughts... and potentially a lot of feelings, which I don't know that i've ever connected with in myself. I realize that today was the begining of a great transition for me. Today is the day where I am either going to go to war with life or surrender myself to a true existance of mediocrity. But, I feel strongly that my way of living life has been right. That life is so much smarter then we can ever comprehend... and that true freedom is letting go of control... and let the intellegence of life take you where it may.... but with that you must also have perfect observation skills. Life seems to throw lessons in a circular pattern... and you either learn from them and progress to your true destiny or you are forced to repeat the same lessons over and over. People that never learn to observe are the people in life that 'always have a problem' or everything is 'someone elses fault.' I try to never blame or think things should be a different way. I try to watch the ripples and currents in life and position myself to be taken down a stream which will offer me the best outcome. In doing so, I express my will to be lead along. 

 I've been questioned as to wether or not I believe that our lives are predetermined. To this, my theory is that everything ... is ... forever. Think about that ... try to comprhend the fact that every single thing around you has existed... in one form or another .. for ever. For ever and ever. No begining ... no end ..... can you visualize it? It took me a long time to settle this notion into my mind. And then I realized that the only thing that dies is not our bodies.... but our ability to exist. We die .... we end.... we don't change form. I die. Our energy, or thoughts, words, personality, and everything that makes up the virtual reality of our minds ends. So... that being the case, it is without a doubt that I will die. I have a begining and an end. For certain at some point in the future my life ends. I often fantasize how badly I'd love to see a picture of myself the moment I die. Am i old? surrounded by friends? am i in bed? am i poor and shabby? am i alone? Imagine how many things that picture could say about your life. And, imagine for a second that I could hold that picture right now. It's then a fact that every moment of my life is leading to that point... and no matter what or how I do, that point will come. So.. even with out a picture... i'm already dead at some point. So it's resonable for me to believe that my life is already on an unavoidable course. I choose to sit back in my head and watch me .... i watch my actions, thoughts, words ... everything all day. And i am facinated at the things I do and dont do ... what i say and what i think ... or dont say or dont think ... and it's an amazing ride.... and every moment little things click to me .... and i realize why i talked to that stranger at the mall and he mentioned global warming and now at a business meeting 3 months later two of the bosses are talking about it and its a good in for me to seem smart and now i'm a little more respected. It's all these little things that happen that make you do your next move. And with a little careful watching and listening, you're life will show you where it's trying to lead you.

Self assesment test
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: NADA!!
Topic: Random

Self-Confidence

As someone with high self-confidence, you feel quite comfortable interacting with other people. Indeed, you find the company of others very stimulating and enjoy meeting new people. Your relaxed demeanor in groups makes people around you comfortable too. Perhaps because you feel comfortable talking about yourself, others tend to enjoy being around you and perceive you as socially competent.

The confidence that helps you feel comfortable talking to people also spills into your own personal beliefs about yourself. Although you have several strengths, it’s likely that you also acknowledge and accept your weaknesses. But unlike some people, you take full responsibility for your actions—you rarely regret things you’ve done in the past and are not embarrassed easily.

Perhaps the defining feature that sets you apart from most people is the exceptionally high standards that you set for yourself. Your competence in social gatherings as well as at work should provide ample evidence for this. With these characteristics, it’s very likely that people come to you for advice and generally think of you as someone with leader-like qualities.

Family Orientation

As someone who is oriented to familial matters, you value the company of family-members and domestic life. If you have children already, you enjoy spending time with them very much and work hard to be a good parent. If you don’t have children, you very much desire having children in the future. And your preference for cooking and entertaining guests at home will likely ease the transition into parenthood.

You take pride in maintaining and cultivating a healthy family and work hard to achieve this. This natural tendency is easily illustrated by your preference for doing things around the house as opposed to going out to clubs and restaurants.

What really sets you apart from people that are low in family orientation is that you know how to manage your frustrations and work well on your own. This means that you are well-equipped to manage a family without letting all the work that is involved wear you down. However, as someone with strong family values, all the work that is involved in maintaining a tidy home and well-stocked kitchen might occasionally make it difficult for you to finish everything that you need to do.

Self-Control

The self-control personality dimension captures the way in which a person regulates and directs him or herself. Being low in self-control can be both good and bad. Occasionally people may be compelled to follow their intuitions and give in to their temptations, and your degree of self-control makes this likely to happen more often than not. This can be good in circumstances where being relaxed and open are important. However, in situations where it is necessary to be focused and careful, you might find that you do or say things that may be inappropriate.

As someone who exerts little control over your actions, you may find that you commit social blunders that might offend other people and get yourself in trouble. For example, if you’re given responsibility to work on a project that requires close attention to detail, you may be likely to overlook important details because you have difficulty staying focused. Consequently, you might feel more comfortable delegating such tasks to other people who are more detail oriented. Being able to recognize such characteristics in yourself and having more detail-oriented people do such tasks could be an effective way to manage your own stress level.

Low self-control may diminish your effectiveness at work. Acting too relaxed can make it difficult for you to focus on projects that require organized sequences of steps or stages. Thus, your ability to accomplish may be inconsistent. Indeed, it’s possible that you might be criticized periodically for being unreliable or unable to “stay within the lines.” Nonetheless, you may still experience many short-lived pleasures and never be thought of as boring.

Openness

As someone with a low score in openness, you are down to earth and prefer fact to fiction. It’s likely you don’t particularly enjoy the arts because it’s not always clear whether it has any practical use. Moreover, you probably don’t consider yourself to be a very emotional person because you tend to focus attention on concrete goals and objectives, so there’s no real reason to get too upset about anything because such worrying will not change anything.

Rather than day-dreaming and playing with abstract concepts and ideas, you prefer thinking and talking about concrete issues where a clear answer or decision can be made. That is, you tend to think more logically and methodically about most things. Thus, it is likely that you prefer working on projects where there are clear instructions and objectives; you may find it difficult and pointless to work on projects that require too much creative thinking.

This propensity can have advantages and disadvantages. For instance, when there are clear rules about how to solve a particular problem, your ability to follow instructions makes it easy for you to accomplish your work and excel. In contrast, you may be easily overwhelmed and frustrated when working on projects that have no clear solution.

Easygoingness

Easygoingness refers to one's ability to relax. Based on your score, you appear to “take things as they come” and enjoy having a good time. However, being high in easygoingness also has the potential to produce stress in a number of ways. For example, you may find it difficult to complete tasks thoroughly and efficiently. In this way, being high in easygoingness cannot only make your life difficult, but also the lives of the people around you. Another potential problem with being too high in easygoingness is that it can provide you with gratification in the short-term, but in the long-term provide undesirable consequences.

High easygoingness, even when not seriously destructive, may also diminish your effectiveness at work, for example. You may find it aversive and difficult to put in all the effort that may sometimes be needed to effectively accomplish certain tasks. For this reason, your colleagues might view you as forgetful and unfocused.

How does your personality affect your love life?

With the strong degree of confidence that you possess, it’s no surprise that you get along well with most people. Indeed, it’s self-confidence that allows people to feel comfortable interacting with others without feeling insecure and vulnerable. For this reason, you shouldn’t have much difficulty in romance, at least not initially. Your social skills will likely help relieve any anxiety your romantic partners might have on those first few dates. However, over time, the high standards that you have for yourself could potentially frustrate your partner.

Given how much you value family life, you probably get along best with people who share your values and beliefs. In fact, it’s likely that you maintain close connections with members of your immediate and distant family. For this reason, you would probably be most satisfied in a romantic relationship with someone who also values domestic life. Being in a relationship with someone who enjoys going out to parties and staying-up late at night might be fun, at least initially; yet it’s likely that you will find this tiring over time. Thus, it might be easier and more satisfying for you to develop a long-lasting relationship with a person who also enjoys spending time at home and desires starting a family. On first dates, perhaps you might suggest to your partner that the two of you spend a quiet night having dinner at one of your respective homes instead of going out to a restaurant or club.

As someone who is more relaxed than most people, you’ll likely be attracted to most people. However, your free-spirited nature might make being in a relationship with a person that is more rigid than you difficult because you might perceive the person as being too uptight and controlling. For this reason, you may ultimately be most satisfied in a relationship with someone that is as relaxed as you.

Your level of conventionality might make it difficult for you to tolerate people with beliefs different from your own. Although such people might be fun on first dates, once you begin talking about serious issues, you might find their unorthodoxy unsettling and even offensive. Therefore, you will likely be most satisfied in relationships with people that are more traditional and down to earth.

 

 

Sounds pretty close to me!

hmmmm
Mood:  irritated
Topic: Random
Man... i don't know what's up lately but i'm realizing a lot of crappy things about myself that I haven't realized before. Such as my inability to get things done, lack of motivation, and making excuses for things. I think it may be that i'm just really stressed out and I don't feel like dealing with anything lately ... or it could be i'm always like this and just barly noticing now...

Ouch
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: Attack - 30 seconds to mars
Topic: Aftermath
Whew, I blew it big time. The SBR event did not go well for me at all. It was my first loss at TireRack. I'm trying to think what I did wrong and I think I just had a total lack on condentration today. I was about a second off of another (newer) TT. I finished 3rd out of 3 cars in my class. I think thats the first time i've ever come in last in my class. I'm running thru what I did wrong in my head and you know, it's not easy. I walked the course like 6 times, had a great line picked out, worked first so I could see the other drives lines, and still I ended up driving poorly. Not to mention we only got 4 runs..... 70 drivers and 4 runs...... wth... chicago region usually has 150 drivers and we get 6 runs atleast.... I think I might have felt rushed too. I dunno.... i'm really disappointed in myself today.

Word
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Seed - Korn
Topic: Random
Welp, I have a race tomorrow with SBR, that should be cool. Nick wanted me to go to the Kentucky Derby today.... or actually.. to go to another horse track and watch it on tv... i said 'Nayyy' ... pun intended .. har har har

Top 25 on my itunes
Topic: i-tunes

1. Pushing Me Away [Reanimation] , Linkin Park
2. Autumn Effect , 10 Years
3. Planets , Adema
4. Eclipsed , Evans Blue
5. Shoot 'Em Down , Ghostland Observatory
6. Stockholm Syndrome , Muse
7. Stapled To The Mattress , Scarling
8. Speculum , Adema
9. Lift Us Up , Adema
10. Burn It Down , Alter Bridge
11. Straight Jacket Fashion , Chevelle
12. Over , Evans Blue
13. Dark That Follows , Evans Blue
14. Desperate Guys , The Faint
15. Hold On , Korn
16. Where Did You Sleep Last Night , Nirvana
17. Shaken , Shiny Toy Guns
18. Spiders , System of a Down
19. Trust , Adema
20. I'm Not Jesus , Apocalyptica
21. You , Breaking Benjamin
22. Flush , Brian Head Welch
23. In Her Gentle Jaws , The Depreciation Guild
24. Said And Done , 18 Visions
25. Hidden Track , From First To Last
    

Middle of the week
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Eclipsed - Evans Blue
Topic: Random
So, it's the middle of the week. South Bend Region rae is this weekend. I expect the weather to be a lot nicer so I don't suppose my Quattro will give me a big advantage. Lots of things going on besides racing, too. Working at the SBCC has finally started to feel comfortable. I design logos for products as well as fix anything that has a computer attatched to it. It's fun and my boss is interesting. The real estate business is kind of all over the place right now. The economy has been a pain sorta and cash has been to a minimum so I don't know what to expect ... i'm trying to stay positive but it's hard. My friend wants be to go to watch some horse racing this weekend... i dunno if I'll do that or not tho. .... I feel stressed lately, so... hopefully somethings start looking up.

Woot.
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Over and Over - Three Days Grace
Topic: Aftermath

Well, this weekend was crazy. I didn;t end up getting the trailer (yet) or the tv (maybe yet) because nick could not borrow his dad's pick up. On the other hand, we did get to the race okay which was sweet, even though we woke up late =p. Nick did really good even though there was a lot of rain in the morning. I hated the early runs because the track, tires, and weather just weren;t coming together. The afternoon runs were pretty great even with some minor malfunctions. I ended up snagging 3rd place which at first made me really mad that I didn't do better but then I realized that a strong finish is the best outlook for the season's 'big picture.' We shall see what the year brings, but I feel a lot of positive changes coming about.

 

 

Too much driving
Mood:  hungry
Now Playing: Zombie - The Cranberries

Wow. So we did a crap load of driving yesterday.... specifically I did a crap load of driving yesterday. Some highlights are that I saw lake erie for the very first time. It was strange because it had really big waves that made the boats look really tiny. We picked up the transmission and the guy there also has some other parts that we really needed for the CRX, so things worked well. On the way back I accidently went the wrong way so we turned around real quick and Nick said I should go 100mph to make up for lost time. I nailed it and got to 135mph which was awesome... until I got to the off ramp and wa still doing 100.... nick said I locked a tire up and left a skid mark but I didnt see it =p Then, as we crossed back into Indiana and civic with blue headlights came up to me and was trying to get me to race him. I started to accelerate with him up to 85 mph (speed limit is 70) when we came over a hill and there was a cop sitting in the dark. I let go of the gas and the honda nailed it to try and run. I saw the come start coming our way and just rolled down to 75. The police car pulled up next to me and stared at me for 30 seconds... then saw the honda jammed behind 3 trucks so he flew up and pulled him over...... bigggg sigh of relief! =p

Today I might go pick up a big screen TV and a trailer for the audi to haul my tires around....